Do not read this…

Here are some classic mistakes from church bulletins.  Enjoy.  It makes me very thankful for the team that proofreads ours.

• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
• Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m.  Please use the back door.
• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
• Don't let worry kill you off – let the church help.
• The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir
• Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.